A Deep Student of Life
At the start of 2021, I committed to giving myself the gift of being a “Deep Student of Life” for 6 months. I chose to pause my conditioned Doing and give myself the time and energy to explore the things that I was turned on about, had a curiosity about, or simply tickled my fancy.
Like many who grew up in the western world, I was programed to be constantly doing doing doing, whether it was when I was 16 years old working my first job, graduating from college early, working all of my 20s... society and cultural roots taught me that I am only worthy if I am doing something. I did the best I could to "succeed" because that was what I thought I needed to do in order to be lovable.
Even when I escaped the matrix and got out of the 9-5 system, I was still traveling non-stop to different countries while producing a workshop and sharing it worldwide.
It wasn't until life circumstances/a global pandemic had me grounded and rooted in Bali, I put on my curiosity hat on and dared to explore what truly lights me up. And lemme tell you, Curiosity looks so damn cute on me.
I felt like a baby, a toddler, "wah wah how do I do this?" Doubt came up as well - Do I deserve this? Can I afford the "cost"? Will others judge me? Am I worthy of doing things simply for pure joy?
I did it anyway, I kept going, in courageous devotion, willing to experiment, for science!
This act in itself is an act of self love, of self worth. How much do I value my self and my time? How willing am I to GIVE myself the gift that keeps on giving? How open am I to receiving? How much do I TRUST myself?
In this precious time of being A Deep Student of Life, I learned the art of Fire Dancing, practiced Authentic Relating, stepped into my Awakened Leadership, remembered the Goddess within, explored my first musical instrument the handpan, played with paints and colors in pure creative expression for the first time, fell in love with my singing voice, unleashed my empowered poet, communed in nature alone for days and nights, meditated at a Buddhist temple with Kuan Yin as my guide, lived on a boat and dived deep with the ocean life, made love to the moon, owned the power of my sensuality and womanhood, loved my body up sooo much, and danced. every. single. day.
It has been an incredibly transformative, humbling experience to fully surrender and TRUST that I will be guided on this hilarious, non-linear, multi-dimensional journey called L I F E.
I give thanks to my teachers, dear friends, and fellow students, as we are all simply walking (and dancing) each other home.
And the truth is, as the 6 months has come to a close, I know even more so that I will Always Be Learning, forever a Deep Student of Life. May we receive every moment as a deep teaching - every hardship, every being, every fall, every dance, every fuck yes, every sacred no. We are all mirrors for each other.
I know that to truly invest in my joy is what will nourish me to create my divine creation in my wholeness. After all, what goes in is what comes out my friends.
*********************
Does any of this message resonate with you?
If so, I would love to invite you to do a market research call with me. I’ve been doing these by invitation only over the last few weeks and they’ve been super fun and insightful. I have space for a few more calls this week. I’ll hold space for everything you want to share, and it will help me incredibly in better sharing my work with the world and being in service to help more people. And it will be a fun way for us to connect, too.
DM me or comment below and we can set it up. :)
